Last night my daughter and I went to the movie "We Bought A Zoo". Nika is the one who chose this movie and she made a good choice. Since we can't get out and do things as a family until it warms up more, Scott and I will take turns on taking some of the kids to a movie or out to dinner. He normally takes Xander and Xavian, and I take Nika. It is always a fun girls night out for Nika and I. I also think it is good for her to get this since she is the only girl and needs some girlie time. :) It was a really good, cute movie. Nika loved it since it had a lot of animals in it and I liked it because of the message it gives. It is based off of a true story and I just love how hard this dad worked to build something for his family. A man loses his wife to illness and then struggles with raising his two children. He quits his job and then buys an old house that has an old zoo that comes with it. He then works hard with the zoo staff to bring it up to code so that they can open it once again. During this time he is at a constant battle with his 14year old son, who is having a really hard time since his mother's passing. His 7 year old daughter loves the zoo and that was the reason why he bought it. What I loved about this movie was how hard he worked at trying to get his family happy again. I loved the way the family worked together on getting the zoo ready and how close they become because of it.
I think for anyone who has kids they can relate to this movie on wanting to become closer to their kids and doing more with them. I think every child is a wonderful miracle and I am so thankful for all 4 of my miracles. My children may drive me bonkers at times but I still love them with all of my heart! I think since having Xyler, movies like this touch my heart even more than before. Before Xyler had his surgery I was plagued with the unknown of whether he was going to come out of the surgery alive or not. I think as a parent you are always afraid of losing a child but I have never had it come stare me face to face as a possibility as I did that day. My oldest had to have emergency surgery a couple of years ago and that was terrifying for me! I wasn't really worried about him not making it through the surgery as I was with Xyler. Xyler's was on his heart and he had to be put on heart and lung bypass for it. All I could do was pray that his heart started beating again and that he would make it through it.
I believe in the Plan of Salvation with all of my heart and I knew that I would see Xyler again one day if he didn't make it, but how sad I would have been to have not been able to have more time with him on this earth. I think this experience has really made me grateful for my family and that we are an Eternal Family. It has also made me appreciate every second that I get to spend with my family. That is why this movie touched my heart like it did. It has made me want to do more things with my family. To work and play side by side on projects and become a more loving, happy family. I can relate to what this father was trying to do when he bought the zoo. It is what I want for my family. Scott doesn't want to plant a garden this year since he works for a produce company, but I think we should so that we can go out and work in it together as a family. :) I am also hoping that we will be able to just get away for a few days after Xyler heals from his next surgery, so that we can just spend some much needed quality time as a family.
With the thought of Xyler having open heart surgery in a month or two it brings back those same feelings. I love Xyler so much and he has been such a wonderful little miracle to our family. I love how he smiles and giggles every time he looks at me. Even though he is only 5 months old he has already taught our family so much! He is so strong and I know he will do well. I know I say this at the end of most of my posts but I am really, truly, so thankful for my family and I love each of them so very much! I hope everyone will try to spend more time just enjoying the company of your family. It will truly make you happy.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Xyler's Birth
It has been a while since I have posted anything. We have had a house full of sickness and we still do! Poor Xavian has been fevering up from trying to cut 4 teeth at once and now he got the sickness that Scott and I have. Xyler has gotten it too. It is always hard on a mom when her child is sick and I am now finding it is even harder when your child has a CHD. I just hope we get this sickness out of our house and get everyone better asap! Xyler had a couple of nights where he did not sleep well from being so stuffy. Thank goodness last night went a lot better. Hopefully he will get better soon along with the rest of us.
Xyler is almost 5 months old and I just can't believe it! I guess I am a strange mom since I want time to go by fast and so far it is. I just want to get Xyler past his next surgery and then I think I will finally tell time to slow down. I can't help but to think of the night Xyler was born when I think about him being 5 months old.
I had to get up early to call into the Women's Center to see what time I needed to come in to be induced. This was at 6:00 AM, Monday morning on October 24th. When I called they told me that they did not have me on the list for that day. I couldn't believe it! my doctor's office had forgotten to call to put me on the list. I now had to wait for them to call my doctor when he got into his office. This was a few hours away and seemed like forever! They were going to induce me due to my platelet count being low. If it is too low I can't have an epidural and I really, really, really can't emphasize enough just how much I wanted an epidural. :)
Well......we finally got the call and were able to go in around 2:00 PM. I was disappointed that it was not earlier. I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore! I was worried that I would not have him early enough for our other kids to come see him. Now looking back I can see that it was meant to be the way that it was. I don't think it was an accident that my doctor's office forgot to call. I was meant to have the nurse that I did for a reason and this meant that I had to be their later than I had hoped for.
My labor was the best one I had ever had! I was only in labor for about 5 hours. During this time I had 3 different nurses. The last one I got, Nanci, is the one who was worried about how Xyler was breathing and asked someone to check his oxygen and everything. What a blessing she was. Anyway....I am getting ahead of myself. So, I was able to get an epidural and about an hour after I had gotten it Nanci came and checked me. I was dilated to a 6. Only about 15 minutes later I called Nanci back in since I was feeling a lot of pressure. I was ready to deliver. Nanci told me my doctor had just called and she had told him how I was only a six. She then had to go call him to get him there asap. I'm so glad my doctor lives close to the hospital. Xyler was ready and wanting to see the world and I was having a hard time trying to hold him back. My doctor came and hurried to get ready and then 2 small pushes later at 8:45 PM Xyler was here sporting a lot of dark hair and looking super cute. My doctor says that it was technically only one push since he had to hold Xyler back on the first one since he wasn't fully ready to catch him. :)
Xyler had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and he was really purple. They gave him some oxygen while he was getting cleaned up since he wasn't crying very good and sounded like he was struggling a bit to breath. He pinked up and started to breath and sound fine. When I held him he seemed fine. He just layed in my arms and looked up at me with his sweet dark eyes. The nurse that cleaned him up commented on how he seemed like a mellow baby and he really is. He ate a bit and then Scott held him. It was when Scott was holding him that I noticed how noisy he sounded. My other 3 kids had never sounded so noisy while breathing. Nanci came in and she noticed it too. She called a nurse up from NICU to check him out. That nurse looked at him and said that his coloring looked good and his nostrils weren't flaring so she thought he was ok. Xyler was still noisy and Nanci still didn't like it. She made sure to tell the nurse upstairs in the nursery to check him out. That is another nurse we were blessed to have.
A while after I was moved upstairs to my room the nursery nurse came in to bathe Xyler and then take him away to check him out. She left with my little Xyler and us thinking everything was fine. A little bit later she braught him back and I will never forget what she said. She came up to me and told us that she didn't have good newa. She then told us about Xyler's oxygen being low and that she heard a murmur in his heart. There are really no words to describe all the thoughts and feelings that you have when you hear that. She handed me Xyler so I could hold him one more time and give him a hug and kiss before he was taken to the NICU. I hugged him tight and kissed him while crying the whole time. I just couldn't believe my baby who had seemed healthy before had something wrong with his heart. After she left I just turned to Scott and cried. I think he was in shock too and didn't quite know what to think.
A little bit later our pediatrician came in to tell us about Xyler. This was another blessing that our ped. was the doctor on call. It helped us out a lot to have someone there that we knew and trusted. He told us that they were going to have an ECHO done on Xyler so that they can see what is wrong and know which hospital he needed to go to. He talked to us for a bit and after he left I just cried. I just couldn't believe this was happening. You hit a moment where you just wonder if you are dreaming, or I guess you just hope that you are. It was late but I decided to call my mom to let her know that something was wrong and that Scott was not going to be home anytime soon since she was staying at our house watching our other kids. I was worried about my other kids at home and just wanted my mom to keep an ear out for Xavian. We just didn't know what was going to happen.
When I was finally able to go down to the NICU, I made sure I walked since I knew that I was not going to let them keep me there after Xyler was taken to a different hospital. The ECHO showed that he had a hole and that he needed to go to PCMC. Everything that our doctor had told us was so hard to understand. It wasn't until we were shown pictures at PCMC that we finally started to understand what was wrong. After Xyler was life flighted Scott and I hurried home after gathering up my stuff so that we could pack some things for Scott and let my mom know what was going on.
I walked in the door and went straight to my mother's arms and just cried. I still could not believe what was happening. We told her what we knew and then hurried to get things packed. I asked my mom if her and my dad could bring our kids down later so that they could meet their new little brother. This was very important to me since I had no idea what was going to happen to Xyler. It was such a scary time for me. My parents were so good to bring them down and to take care of them. My mom was so wonderful at taking care of our kids during that time and after. My sister Heather also took them for the weekend and brought them to the hospital the day of Xyler's surgery. I'm so thankful for all of their help.
These are the things I think of when I think of the day Xyler was born. It was an experience Scott and I will never forget. It was a very scary time but we are so grateful to have him in our family and doing as well as he is. He has been such a blessing to our family. It is so heart warming to see how much our other kids love their baby brother and care about what he is going through. Xyler always smiles when one of them comes up to him to talk to him. I have learned that with trials comes great blessings and we have been blessed with many of both. I love my family so much and am so grateful for each and every one of them!
Xyler is almost 5 months old and I just can't believe it! I guess I am a strange mom since I want time to go by fast and so far it is. I just want to get Xyler past his next surgery and then I think I will finally tell time to slow down. I can't help but to think of the night Xyler was born when I think about him being 5 months old.
I had to get up early to call into the Women's Center to see what time I needed to come in to be induced. This was at 6:00 AM, Monday morning on October 24th. When I called they told me that they did not have me on the list for that day. I couldn't believe it! my doctor's office had forgotten to call to put me on the list. I now had to wait for them to call my doctor when he got into his office. This was a few hours away and seemed like forever! They were going to induce me due to my platelet count being low. If it is too low I can't have an epidural and I really, really, really can't emphasize enough just how much I wanted an epidural. :)
Well......we finally got the call and were able to go in around 2:00 PM. I was disappointed that it was not earlier. I was so ready to not be pregnant anymore! I was worried that I would not have him early enough for our other kids to come see him. Now looking back I can see that it was meant to be the way that it was. I don't think it was an accident that my doctor's office forgot to call. I was meant to have the nurse that I did for a reason and this meant that I had to be their later than I had hoped for.
My labor was the best one I had ever had! I was only in labor for about 5 hours. During this time I had 3 different nurses. The last one I got, Nanci, is the one who was worried about how Xyler was breathing and asked someone to check his oxygen and everything. What a blessing she was. Anyway....I am getting ahead of myself. So, I was able to get an epidural and about an hour after I had gotten it Nanci came and checked me. I was dilated to a 6. Only about 15 minutes later I called Nanci back in since I was feeling a lot of pressure. I was ready to deliver. Nanci told me my doctor had just called and she had told him how I was only a six. She then had to go call him to get him there asap. I'm so glad my doctor lives close to the hospital. Xyler was ready and wanting to see the world and I was having a hard time trying to hold him back. My doctor came and hurried to get ready and then 2 small pushes later at 8:45 PM Xyler was here sporting a lot of dark hair and looking super cute. My doctor says that it was technically only one push since he had to hold Xyler back on the first one since he wasn't fully ready to catch him. :)
Xyler had the cord wrapped around his neck twice and he was really purple. They gave him some oxygen while he was getting cleaned up since he wasn't crying very good and sounded like he was struggling a bit to breath. He pinked up and started to breath and sound fine. When I held him he seemed fine. He just layed in my arms and looked up at me with his sweet dark eyes. The nurse that cleaned him up commented on how he seemed like a mellow baby and he really is. He ate a bit and then Scott held him. It was when Scott was holding him that I noticed how noisy he sounded. My other 3 kids had never sounded so noisy while breathing. Nanci came in and she noticed it too. She called a nurse up from NICU to check him out. That nurse looked at him and said that his coloring looked good and his nostrils weren't flaring so she thought he was ok. Xyler was still noisy and Nanci still didn't like it. She made sure to tell the nurse upstairs in the nursery to check him out. That is another nurse we were blessed to have.
A while after I was moved upstairs to my room the nursery nurse came in to bathe Xyler and then take him away to check him out. She left with my little Xyler and us thinking everything was fine. A little bit later she braught him back and I will never forget what she said. She came up to me and told us that she didn't have good newa. She then told us about Xyler's oxygen being low and that she heard a murmur in his heart. There are really no words to describe all the thoughts and feelings that you have when you hear that. She handed me Xyler so I could hold him one more time and give him a hug and kiss before he was taken to the NICU. I hugged him tight and kissed him while crying the whole time. I just couldn't believe my baby who had seemed healthy before had something wrong with his heart. After she left I just turned to Scott and cried. I think he was in shock too and didn't quite know what to think.
A little bit later our pediatrician came in to tell us about Xyler. This was another blessing that our ped. was the doctor on call. It helped us out a lot to have someone there that we knew and trusted. He told us that they were going to have an ECHO done on Xyler so that they can see what is wrong and know which hospital he needed to go to. He talked to us for a bit and after he left I just cried. I just couldn't believe this was happening. You hit a moment where you just wonder if you are dreaming, or I guess you just hope that you are. It was late but I decided to call my mom to let her know that something was wrong and that Scott was not going to be home anytime soon since she was staying at our house watching our other kids. I was worried about my other kids at home and just wanted my mom to keep an ear out for Xavian. We just didn't know what was going to happen.
When I was finally able to go down to the NICU, I made sure I walked since I knew that I was not going to let them keep me there after Xyler was taken to a different hospital. The ECHO showed that he had a hole and that he needed to go to PCMC. Everything that our doctor had told us was so hard to understand. It wasn't until we were shown pictures at PCMC that we finally started to understand what was wrong. After Xyler was life flighted Scott and I hurried home after gathering up my stuff so that we could pack some things for Scott and let my mom know what was going on.
I walked in the door and went straight to my mother's arms and just cried. I still could not believe what was happening. We told her what we knew and then hurried to get things packed. I asked my mom if her and my dad could bring our kids down later so that they could meet their new little brother. This was very important to me since I had no idea what was going to happen to Xyler. It was such a scary time for me. My parents were so good to bring them down and to take care of them. My mom was so wonderful at taking care of our kids during that time and after. My sister Heather also took them for the weekend and brought them to the hospital the day of Xyler's surgery. I'm so thankful for all of their help.
These are the things I think of when I think of the day Xyler was born. It was an experience Scott and I will never forget. It was a very scary time but we are so grateful to have him in our family and doing as well as he is. He has been such a blessing to our family. It is so heart warming to see how much our other kids love their baby brother and care about what he is going through. Xyler always smiles when one of them comes up to him to talk to him. I have learned that with trials comes great blessings and we have been blessed with many of both. I love my family so much and am so grateful for each and every one of them!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Cold, Cold Go Away!!!
Poor Xyler has been dealing with a cold for over a month now. I was hoping that it was starting to go away the other day but it has seemed worse today! I took Xyler in to his pediatrician for his synagis(RSV) shot and I asked them about his cold. Since he isn't getting any better they sent me home with a nebulizer so that I can give breathing treatments. They told me he would probably cry since I have to hold a mask over his mouth and nose so he can breath it in. They said it is good if he does cry since he will take in deeper breaths from crying. Well....I gave him his first treatment tonight and he didn't cry until the last minute of it. Go figure, right! Trust Xyler to not cry when it is good for him to cry. :) He is such a good baby so I'm really not surprised.
My poor Xavian who is 19 months old has had a fever the last couple of days. It wasn't too bad today and after I gave him medicine he seemed to do better. I still felt bad for having to drag him to the doctor. I feel so worn out after a visit to the pediatrician. I'm sure people watching just have to laugh at me since I am trying to juggle everything. It is a lot of work to try and carry a baby carrier and baby , diaper bag, oxygen tank and try to hang on to a 19 month old. When I bend down a bit to grab Xavian's hand either the diaper bag or oxygen tank slips off of my shoulder and knocks poor Xavian down most of the time. I think he runs from me now just so that he won't get knocked down. :)
Poor Xyler has had so many shots that he now knows what is going to happen once I lay him down on the table. He cries every time now, even when I'm just laying him down to undress him for his weight check. I feel so bad for him! He only has one more synagis shot and then he is done. He has only gained 1oz since since his 4 month check up two weeks ago. I would like to see more but at least it's gaining and not losing. I have tried to feed him rice cereal a couple of times and so far it has not gone very well. When I put some in his mouth he will just push his tongue forward and keeps doing it so then the food get;s pushed out. I hope he gets the hang of it soon because he could use the calories from it.
My poor Xavian who is 19 months old has had a fever the last couple of days. It wasn't too bad today and after I gave him medicine he seemed to do better. I still felt bad for having to drag him to the doctor. I feel so worn out after a visit to the pediatrician. I'm sure people watching just have to laugh at me since I am trying to juggle everything. It is a lot of work to try and carry a baby carrier and baby , diaper bag, oxygen tank and try to hang on to a 19 month old. When I bend down a bit to grab Xavian's hand either the diaper bag or oxygen tank slips off of my shoulder and knocks poor Xavian down most of the time. I think he runs from me now just so that he won't get knocked down. :)
Poor Xyler has had so many shots that he now knows what is going to happen once I lay him down on the table. He cries every time now, even when I'm just laying him down to undress him for his weight check. I feel so bad for him! He only has one more synagis shot and then he is done. He has only gained 1oz since since his 4 month check up two weeks ago. I would like to see more but at least it's gaining and not losing. I have tried to feed him rice cereal a couple of times and so far it has not gone very well. When I put some in his mouth he will just push his tongue forward and keeps doing it so then the food get;s pushed out. I hope he gets the hang of it soon because he could use the calories from it.
I put Xyler in the highchair tonight and had to take a picture. He looks little in their compared to his brother and yet he also looks so grown up. I just love this picture!
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